There are so many people I know who
are pregnant right now. I'll soon be an aunt, and there are several friends who
await either their first or second child. What's happening!!!! Is it time for
me to get a little stressed out already?!!! I do not want to be the only 40-year-old
parent at my child’s first day of school! Anyway I’ll not be part of the "they
got children so now I also have to get children” trend. To expand a family is
an important step that should be determined by where you are in life, and not
by how many children your sister or your friends have. Unfortunately I have no
opportunity to star in the “teen mom” series anymore. But maybe that’s just
fine? J
In Norway we have a very good
arrangement for maternity leave. Altogether one can stay at home with a child
for about a year. We also have arrangements to facilitate a more equal
parenthood. "Paternity leave" (fedrekvoten), a period of 10 weeks,
which are reserved for the father of the child, is an example. In 2014 it was
also introduced a "leave only for mothers" (mødrekvoten), of 10 weeks.
This is fine in terms of equal treatment. Research shows that fathers like to
take paternal leave while mothers take the rest. Personally, I think it would
make more sense to share more or less equally. If the mother stays at home for
a whole year, it may hinder her career, and as I wrote in the post "How to
get the job of your dreams", a 100% job is a basis for economic
independence and career development. Of course it’s important to pay attention
to the child, but I do not think a child will take harm by being more with his
dad.
In Norway, we also have "Full
day care coverage" (full barnehagedekning), which means that all children
should be able to go to kindergarten. There are many who have different
opinions about when a child should be sent to kindergarten. Some believe that a
one-year-old child is too little to go to kindergarten, while others believe
it’s okay. I think this is something parents themselves must decide on, but
something that annoys me is how mothers who send young children to kindergarten
can be seen as "bad, irresponsible" mothers. We must rid ourselves of
such prejudices! Why is it that a mother who goes back to work early is a
"bad mother", while it’s ok for a father to go back early or just
continue on working without taking leave?? I'm not saying that everyone
believes this, but I have the impression that there is an existing attitude
among some. The economic argument, that fathers normally earn more than mothers
and therefore should return to work earlier, or work all the time, is
understandable, but why do fathers earn more than mothers in the first place?
These are interesting and important
questions that it’s important to raise awareness of.
So what should I do? The plan is to
finish my studies and then go out into a full time job before I eventually get
children. We'll see what the future brings. It’s not easy or even possible to predict
what you’ll do in a new situation. It’s certainly not easy to let Dad take care
of the baby when you would prefer to do it yourself. Anyway, I think that it’s
easier to create a more equal parenthood if one, already before having children,
is aware of and consider the different options. I'm lucky to live in Norway, as
I have so many choices compared with other countries.
Finally, maybe someone a couple of
years from now, will produce reality series about “adult moms” or “working
mothers”? The question is whether it draws television viewers? J
